It’s been a while. School is wrapping up and being in a Master’s program is no joke. I have had more assignments due the past two weeks than should be legal! Thankfully, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and only have two more papers before I am home free… for a week.
I check my email probably five times every hour. I am obsessed. Being in school, I always need to be on top of my emails. I might receive an important email from a colleague, an instructor, or a student that I need to respond to quickly. I usually have no problem with checking my email so frequently on a daily basis. In fact, I love doing it because I feel accomplished when I can get through all my emails and organize them in their designated folders, leaving a clean inbox. In grad school, it has sort of become an obsession.
However lately I am dreading opening my email inbox. For the past 3-4 weeks all my emails have been overflowing about buying mom the perfect mothers day gift. Over and over I am seeing different subject lines like “Surprise mom with the gift she always wanted” or “Your mom will just love what’s inside this email”. I find myself getting angry at the emails. Yeah, sure, they do not know my mom has been gone for eight years, but really, there should be a button one can click to let these retailers know that they are wasting their time trying to sell me mother’s day gifts.
So for weeks, not only have I been enduring the Facebook and instagram posts about how lucky people are to have their mom’s (and yeah, they really are) or the commercials on television, the ads before my youtube videos, and the grocery store advertisements, I have had to go into my email on a daily basis and delete the mother’s day emails. At first it sucks a lot. But after almost 25 days of it, I am becoming numb.
And then I opened my email yesterday. It was an email from Weddingwire.com. I am using their website as my planning guide and my website builder. I like the layout of the website better than the Knot. Anyways, I opened my email and the email from Weddingwire.com said “15 ways to show your love for mom on your wedding day”. I thought, ‘finally! Wedding wire is acknowledging how to honor moms who are no longer around on my wedding day. FINALLY!!!’
Well, I opened the email and it was not about showing your love for a mother who has passed. It was all about what you can do in your wedding to show love to your mom who is still with you. “Wear her veil, giver her flowers, let her get ready with you”. Okay, I get it. My mom won’t be here to do that. Thanks for the reminder.
I realize other people need to celebrate their moms, and I am one bitter motherless bride/daughter. However, could you blame me? Our society is obsessed with the mother/daughter relationship during weddings. I am so over it. It just reminds me how much I am missing out on having my mom with me.
In wedding news: I picked out my Save the Dates! It took a while. I asked for advice from my friends, future sister in law, future mother in law, aunt and cousin. Finally, my aunt and cousin helped me figure it out. My aunt was my Mom’s best friend back in the day, and even introduced her brother and my aunt to each other! My mom was such a match maker… a few other couples have my mom to thank for their love too! Anyways, my aunt and cousin helped narrow it down and I love their style so I am thankful for their love and support. My aunt also said she wanted to be with me when we went to the bridal registry and for picking out invitations. I am thankful for her help in those areas because frankly, I would be lost!!
I still have a lot to do, but at the same time I have a lot done. I booked make-up a couple weeks ago and our engagement pictures came out beautifully!!! We are going to send an announcement out in the paper soon using one of the photos. I need to take care of the cake and the ceremony music, both are taking me so long to find! I just want it to be perfect…
All my bridesmaids except 2 have their dresses so I am on track with that. They have one more month to get on it and I think my future sister in law and I are going together next week. That will be a stress I will be glad to check off!
Update on my future mother in law. She is great! She had her surgery, everything went well! No cancer in her lymph nodes thank goodness! She is healing beautifully and right now we are waiting to see what treatment she has to do! So far we have only been receiving good news -besides the fact she was diagnosed- but at least only good things have been associated with it!
Overall, I am stressed and anxious dealing with school, wedding, and finally personal life issues. I am lucky to have such great friends helping me out, and that my aunt had stepped in to help me out. I am very thankful for her. My fiancé is pretty amazing too. He is a great emotional support system to me, even though he is dealing with his own worries with his mom’s cancer. It’s good to know we work well together in very stressful times. I picked the right one!