Tag Archives: Cincinnati

Tick tock, the clock won’t stop…

…And boy, am I feeling the pressure! 108 days away from the nuptials of my best friend and so much is finished, but there is so much more to do! I knew wedding planning was an undertaking, but I honestly did not know it would be like this. Then again, I guess my planning experience is out of the ordinary, for some…

It is officially October and I am feeling the pressure. I have made amazing progress this past month! We have picked out the groom and groomsmen tux’s (all black, with cummerbunds and a little hanky to go in their pocket: classy and perfect!!!) selected the invitations, and have finally finished the guest list…!

My mom’s 8 year anniversary for being gone came and passed this Friday, September 26th. I was not as emotional as usual, and I had a hard time with that. I did not stay in bed and cry, or mope around, or eat pizza- my favorite go to. Instead, I socialized with family, got my nails done, and did some homework. Of course, I miss my mother with every inch of my being, but this year her anniversary was different. I could not figure out why, but I came up with a theory. I believe since I have been so emotional planning this wedding weekend and have longed for her presence during this process, her anniversary did not nearly seem as bad as January 17th, 2015 will be. That in itself is sad. I am praying that the day of my wedding, I have my mother in my thoughts and in my heart, but that I am not sad. Right now, that is my biggest fear- focusing more on the absence of my mom on my wedding day, than focusing on the fact that I am starting a life with an amazing man I love.

The invitation process was especially difficult. Seeing the invitations, my dad’s name and my fiancé’s parents names, makes the fact that she is not on it a reality. It was another one of those moments that I realized she REALLY will not be there to see me walk down the aisle. I tear up even thinking about it. My dad asked, when he saw the invitation, if we were going to put her name on the invitation with a z”l (a Jewish way of honoring those passed). Obviously, I would love to have my mom on the invitation, but it is impossible for someone who is not present on this earth to invite guests to a wedding. Etiquette advises against it, and to be truthful, I think seeing the z”l next to her name on the wedding invitation would be more depressing than not having her on the invitation at all.

I leave for my bachlorette party next weekend! We are going to NOLA and I have 10 beautiful, amazing, loving, best friends joining me! I am so surprised so many people signed up, NOLA is not cheap. I am forever grateful for them joining me to celebrate my last wild weekend as a single lady! Conveniently, O, is going on his bachelor party the same weekend as me. He is going to Nashville and I am sure we are both going to have a fun, wild, and amazing time with our best friends. I have been looking forward to this trip since February 2014! FINALLY!

I have been planning final (omg final!?) meetings with vendors. We picked our ceremony music last weekend and in a few weeks will get started on the Band’s playlist. Oren and I are trying to figure out the perfect first dance song- we keep going back and forth. Do you have suggestions? I know that I will be dancing with my Dad to the song “The way you look tonight”. I want to mimic the movie Father of the Bride as much as possible, but unlike the movie, my Dad will dance with me.

I just want to take a moment and thank all those who read this blog. The support and advice you give me does not go unnoticed. I started this blog because there is a lack of resources for motherless brides, and I wanted to share my experiences to possibly help future motherless brides. Your words keep me going through this crazy, insane, wedding planning process.

Birthday.

On Friday I turned 27 years old. There is that age old question, “do you feel different?” Well no, I do not feel different. In fact, I have been feeling this way on my birthday for eight years now. It is beyond crazy to me that my mom has now been gone for eight birthdays! I missed her, as I do every day, and I decided to visit her grave. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the weather was finally warm enough for shorts! I laid on the grass, absorbed the sun, and thought about sweet birthday memories I shared with my mom. I did not want to be sad on my birthday, though sometimes it is hard to control your feelings, as I am sure you know. Sitting at her gravesite gave me the opportunity to reflect and be thankful for the birthdays we did have together. I was in a nasty mood for most of the morning, but after having that time, my mood lifted. I felt better and more connected with her. I just needed to take a moment to reconnect.

I took the day off school and decided it was going to be a *ME* day. I had nothing planned, so as I was sitting watching Teen Wolf relaxing I decided time to catch up with some vendors, book some new ones, and try to get some addresses for my guest list.

Oren and I had our engagement photos on last Sunday. We have a wonderful photographer who is personable and does AMAZING work. We started at Krohn Conservatory which is a beautiful place in Cincinnati to take some pictures. Since it was the end of March, we did not have the best weather. Luckily, it was sunny without a cloud in the sky, but Spring had not sprung yet, and I wanted some color in my pictures! So we went to Krohn to get that effect. It was crowded but very fun and she got some great shots (from what I saw)!

We then hopped into my car and drove downtown. I wanted some pictures of Music Hall. This is a famous building in Cincinnati that hosts the Symphony, the Cincinnati Pops, Opera, among other things. Since it was a Sunday, we could not get inside, but Laura, being a creative genius, used the building and it’s beautiful architecture to capture some gorgeous photos. We then drove downtown and parked at our future venue (love it!) and took some pictures in front of the fountain in the middle of our downtown square.

Laura and I spoke on the phone a couple days before the engagement-shoot and she told me it would be highly unlikely that the fountain would be on since it was so cold outside. I told her that I would still like to drive by it to double check if it was on or off. Either that night or the next, I had a dream that Oren and I were taking our photos in front of the flowing fountain. I knew that dream was foreseeing the future. So, when Laura said maybe we should skip the fountain because it was very chilly outside, I refused to give in telling her I knew it would be on. As we walked around the corner, it was on! We got some great photos in front of the fountain, something I really wanted since during our winter wedding, it most likely will be off. I did not take this sign lightly. I believe that was a little gift sent from above. 

The whole experience was awesome and we are so lucky to be working with Laura. We can not wait to see the final product. We check her blog daily!

On Friday, I booked lighting for my venue, made an appointment with my second bakery for the cake (did not like the first one!) , and requested a proposal for my make-up. I am moving right along with the planning. However, through the process, I still feel frustrated that I am doing it alone. I am becoming overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. I am 9 months away from my date, but that does not make this experience less stressful or sad. I know it’s not right around the corner, but it is going faster than I thought possible.

Where were you 9 months out from your wedding? I have no clue if I am even on track! Thankfully, it hasn’t haunted my dreams yet…

The Weather.

I am having a January wedding. In a previous post I explained all the reasons why. I am very excited about my winter wedding. However, one thing has been on my mind; the weather.

I know I cannot control the weather, especially for a January wedding. This past Martin Luther King Jr. weekend it was snowy in Cincinnati, all weekend long. It snowed all day on the 17th (my wedding date) and looked like a winter wonderland! This gave me anxiety. I know another couple who were married on the 17th this year, and a lot of their guests did not come because of the weather. My biggest worry! Can you imagine putting all that planning, money, and effort into planning a wedding and then have half of your guests not show up because of a snow storm?! The worst! So as you can imagine, I am pretty obsessed with the weather. I have always been a little over concerned with the weather, especially during tornado season in Ohio.

Yesterday, my fiancé, Oren, had a friend over the house who was in town for work. During our conversation I brought up the weather and how cold it is for March. We started talking about the crazy weather conditions of 2013-2014 thus far and eventually got on the topic of our wedding. I confessed my worries about the weather and people missing the wedding as a result. Oren’s friend, being the nice guy he is, said:

“Don’t worry about the weather and people missing the wedding. The most important part of getting married is having both your parents there and both of Oren’s parents there. A long as you have that, you don’t need to worry about anyone else.”

I smiled. He obviously forgot, or didn’t know, that my mom passed away. Oren and I glanced at each other and smiled. Neither of us wanted to make him feel awkward in our home, and we mutually agreed (without words) that we would not correct him. I knew that correcting him would make him feel awkward, just when I tell people I am planning my wedding alone because my Mom passed away; awkward.

Oren’s friends statement made me think. He assumed my mom was alive, just like everyone does. That I can’t blame anyone for. I am (almost) 27, of course it is more normal for me to have a Mom than not. I started thinking about what his statement meant. He said that the weather was not as important because we would have our parents there, and that is the important part. I agree, having my Dad and Oren’s parents there is very important. However, I can’t help but think that I am not even going to have the most important part of my wedding completed.

I will be missing someone who cannot be replaced. Oren is missing the opportunity to ever meet my Mother. He will never have a mother-in-law. We will both be missing someone very special on our wedding day, actually, multiple people.

Oren’s friends statement made me feel pretty sad for a little, even though I masked my sadness with a smile. At the moment, I have found no comfort knowing that not all four of the most important people in Oren and my life will be there. As I try to maneuver between these feelings, I think I will just focus on the weather.